Still Coaching

After all these years of coaching, and with all the headlines of coaching nightmares in the media, people ask me a great deal on why I still coach.  And before I can answer, they remind me that it is a thankless job with little to no pay and that I have to put with {You fill in the blank here}.

I supposed I never look at it that way.  I look at “coaching”as another opportunity to help young people get from point A to point B with more skills to succeed in life while still having some fun.  And I throw “coaching” in quotations because it is as much about swimming related things as it is about life events.

And every once in a while you get a letter like this in the US Mail…

The letter does go on on how this student/athlete is really looking forward to swimming in college.

And then you are reaffirmed that what you are doing on a regular basis is worth it.  Big Time.

Building Solid Relationships

Was working on another article for my high school swim team website when I came across this article by Dave Bowman on Trust in the Workplace.  We can substitute family or circle of friends, maybe even my swim team for workplace.  But I wanted to concentrate these notes on how to treat people in general.  I truly believe that we are in a point in society where common decency is lacking.

Then this morning I came across this post by Mandy Edwards (Twitter handle @memktgservices) talking about How to Better Serve Your Clients – http://goo.gl/JE03A and the two articles just struck a huge cord with me.  So, when you read the items below, try to relate them back to how you deal with people on a daily basis.

Let me paraphrase and add my notes to each one of Dave’s points and add Mandy’s into the mix:

1. Integrity – Say you are going to do, and then do what you say.  It seems simple, but we all fail at times.  Keeping promises and always telling the truth.  You gain credibility with people in all facets when this happens.  Inconsistency causes confusion.
2. Vision and Values – Know where you are going and, just as important, know how you are going to get there.  Once those pieces are communicated it becomes a win-win.
3. Equality – Everyone in the group needs to feel value in their opinion and should also get credit for when their ideas come to the surface .  This along with everyone being treated with respect goes a long way.  Do not walk in with a solution already in hand without hearing the challenge.  Ask before speaking.
4. Shared Goals – Once the shared vision is established, the emphasis needs to be on a “team win” in that everyone benefits when you do well.  Personal agenda and individual goals need to be secondary to the team goals.  When a person is out for their own personal gain, trust breaks down.
5. Do what is Right – Even if no one is looking.  Create an environment of success by doing all the little things correct.  Show up on time, and do the work required.  Take an extra 5 minutes and exceed their expectations.  Check your ego at the door.
6. Attitude – This is one that I added to the list.  If you consistently and genuinely care  and promote a “We” position you will nurture all relationships in a positive way.  Focus on the challenges and solutions not the personalities.

These notes are a base that allow for an open and honest communication.  Trust leads to stronger partnerships.  While you may never get a second chance to make a first impression, it’s easier to get a second chance to do right in a relationship with a strong partnership.

Normalcy Restored

Just for those keeping score at home, things are back in their right spot.  The new 20th anniversary ring has arrived

It fits perfectly, looks like it has always been there.

Not sure much more needs to be said.

Focus

The family had the opportunity to listen to Dr. Alan Goldberg this past weekend. This was part of an educational series put on by the club team that my kids belong to and that I coach for.  I attended the Coach session, Michelle the Parent session, and the kids were in the Athlete session.

Dr. Goldberg specializes in sports psychology for peak performance and mental toughness for athletes. The 5 hours of time with him were well spent.

The main takeaways when the four of us talked about our sessions were

• Stay in your “own lane” and focus on what you can do
• Everything should be process based not outcome based
• When you sign up for a team there is a unwritten rule that there will be good times and bad times

Dr. Goldberg told a number of stories and tailored each one for the respective groups.

On the Competitive Advantage website, there are are great deal of printable materials that you should look at an review.  I know there are enough swim families that read this, and this material is really good stuff.

With this Ring

I think we have reached a tipping point in our priorities when it comes to discussions that deal with peoples personal lives.  Let me explain.

Got a hair cut a couple of weeks ago.  No one said anything.  Yes, my hair usually looks the same, but it was shorter.

Haven’t been wearing my wedding ring for three weeks, and only one person said a word.

BUT, I send my iPhone case out for a warranty claim for replacement, and EVERYONE notices.  So much to the fact that they purposely bring it up and we talk about it for long lengths of time.

You would think not wearing a wedding ring would be an obvious point of discussion.  But for some reason it is not.

The story behind it in case you were wondering….Michelle and I will be married for 20 years this summer, and I told her I would like to get a new band.  Well, we went to get my finger sized which required that I take the existing ring off.  It did not go so well.  The existing ring is way too small and forcing it off made my finger all swollen.  So, we could not get it sized that day, we had to wait for the swelling to go down, and now I cannot get what will be the old ring back on.

Are people just afraid to talk about why I was not wearing my ring?  Are we that hyper sensitive to the recent higher separation rate that people just do not want to know?  It does not make much sense to me.

Can’t wait to get my cell phone case back so we can get back to normal conversations again.

Not Forgotten

Not sure how this all really came about.

There is a song out right now by Macklemore called Thrift Shop.  It talks about a guy going to a store and buying old clothes at a discount rate to avoid designer labels and the high cost, yet still look good.  In the song he talks about getting your Grandpa’s clothes.

It made me start thinking of my grandpa, my Dad’s Dad.  So, I was digging around for some old pictures and found a couple.  But I really like the one that is to the left in this posting.

It reminded me that Grandpa B was a big believer in hard work – and the benefits that result from it.  This was a man who started his own business in his basement of his house while raising 4 kids with my Grandma.

This picture shows me happiness, confidence, determination, and content.  All at the same time.  He has been gone for 11 years now.

And for me, it was something I did not understand much when I was younger.  I was just a kid not knowing much but thinking I knew it all.

He use to check my work over all the time at “the shop”.  The Shop was the family business.  It did not matter it is was cleaning the floors or work on a production piece, or boxing up parts for shipment.  If it was done wrong, you started over and/or corrected it so that it was absolutely done right.  You learned from your mistakes quickly with him around.

And now that I fully get it, I can not tell him how much it all means to me now.  But somehow, I think he knows.  He always knew, why would that change now?

Besides he could really rock that hat!

Time Flies

This was a snapshot of an email that popped up in my email late last week

This means that Anna will be moving on to high school.  4 years later to college, and then who knows.

But there is no reason that I can not still think of her like this?  Right?

With the little bonnet hat, and the Winnie the Pooh sunglasses?

Those were awesome times.  And I am sure that I can find a million more pictures.  And I am sure that I will go through this same retrospection of life when Luke gets to 8th grade as well.  But for now, it is thinking about Anna.

She is growing up to be an adult.  And I cannot stop that, nor do I want to stop it.  Maybe some days I want to slow it down, but never do I want to stop it.

She has confidence, she has beauty on the inside and on the outside.  He fashion sense some days takes after me, Lord Help Us!  The next 4 years will be very exciting.